Friday, 3 June 2011

New Beginnings

In more ways than one.

First a bit about me - I'm SURE you're dying to know ;)

I'm 42, mother to a 2 year old monster, sorry I mean little boy otherwise known as The Cub. Partner to OMM (who's ginger for those that have to know!)

I'm currently studying Fashion at Foundation Degree Level at Mid-Cheshire College.

I have obviously decided to live my life backwards going to college and having a child when most people are hoping/looking forward to their leaving the nest!

Part of my course next year is blogging so I'm starting early here what was that I heard a resounding cheer?

I'll bring you up to date on my life.

In a similar manner to Bill Hicks I was born screaming - but I was born in Cornwall not America.
My parents moved 'up the line' before I was one so I have a pronounced north west accent, having a mother from the south west means I can't say some words properly such as water and boy which if said on their own not only sounds broad kernish but makes you look fairly odd, something of which I'm good at.
I went to school, had an ordinary education.
Left school went to college
Left college went to uni for a year had to come home. The story of which is tragic and I won't bore you with it.
Went to India to 'find myself' (if I EVER go back in time I shall slap myself for being so precious) and there I was all the time, quelle surprise.
Came back couldn't stand the parents went round the Greek islands.
Came back got a job as a waitress
Ended up running the company I shall write a book one day about it but it will have to be fiction as NOBODY would believe me if I wrote it as the truth.
Married the owner
Caught him in bed with somebody else
Left the owner
Had many Jo jobs in many industries as wide ranging as logistics to construction.
Took a course on how to make skirts, having completed many mad courses such as basic poultry keeping.
Saw a course on corsetry
Did course got hooked.
Took the City and Guilds in corsetry
Carried on with my life making corsets as a hobby. What the DON'T tell you about making corsets are all the interesting people you meet with 'interesting hobbies.
By now I'm working for a bank - think eagle and don't hate me.
I get pregnant which trust me was not planned, however, there is very little else to do in Cornwall when you're camping and it's raining. At least I shall always be able to point to the exact spot The Cub was conceived. I should imagine that will make him cringe quite satisfactorily when he is older - I'm evil it's a gift.
You may find this next section TMI if so scroll through you won't miss much.
Waters break with The Cub 5 weeks early - so nothing is ready - and he's born.
Traumatic time in hospital due to incompetence, I would heartily urge people not to have a child in Leighton Hospital as very little has changed despite my 10 page letter of complaint.
Go on mat leave.
Take voluntary redundancy.
Go on degree course as I'm heartily sick of there being nothing for The Cub to wear that isn't plastered in slogans or blue/beige and my brains threaten to run out of my ears from being a SAHM. Huge amounts of respect going out to the SAHM's who can do it - you are better women than I!
And here we are writing a blog, that's all nice and cyclical then.

Now I've got all the me me me stuff out of the way I shall let you know what I want to do with the blog and how I intend to do it.

Be afraid, be VERY afraid!

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